What Harrison Butker misunderstands about the value of women and their desire to work
Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker set social media on fire with a controversial commencement speech earlier this week
Earlier this week, Kansas City Chiefs Kicker Harrison Butker sparked outrage with a controversial commencement speech at Benedictine College, a private Catholic school in Kansas.
During his speech, he spoke about several topics including LGBTQ+ relationships and abortion. However, the part of his speech that went viral was when he spoke about women and motherhood. Here’s what he said according to Fox News:
"For the ladies present today, congratulations on an amazing accomplishment. You should be proud of all that you have achieved to this point in your young lives," he said. "I want to speak directly to you briefly, because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you. How many of you are sitting here now, about to cross this stage, and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world.
"I can tell you that my beautiful wife, Isabelle, would be the first to say her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother. I’m on this stage today and able to be the man that I am because I have a wife who leans into her vocation. I’m beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me, but it cannot be overstated that all of my success is made possible because a girl I met in band class back in middle school would convert to the faith, become my wife and embrace one of the most important titles of all: homemaker."
This part of his speeches angered a lot of people and people let their frustrations known on social media. If you were on Twitter at any point over the last couple of days, you probably saw many tweets slamming Butker for his speech.
These frustrations are definitely warranted. Some of the claims he made about his wife and women in general in regard to motherhood reflect a fundamentalist view of the role women should play in society and the nuclear family. I would argue his viewpoint is largely unbiblical and that scripture doesn’t completely support what he said.
Let’s dive into the Bible and see what scripture has to say about the role women should play in nuclear families and their desire to work. We’ll also see why Harrison Butker’s opinion about this is wrong and in some ways problematic.
I think a good passage to look at is Proverbs 31:10-31. These verses, specifically, describe a woman who fears the Lord and lives in a way that reflects Jesus Christ. This passage has basically become a meme at this point and it’s common to see Christian men joke about trying to find a “Proverbs 31” woman, however, these verses contain a lot of wisdom. Here’s the passage in its entirety:
”An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet. She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.“
In his commencement speech, Butker appears to suggest that the women at Benedictine College should focus less on having a career and more on being a wife and mother. Of course, being a wife and/or mother is a great thing and women can glorify the Lord in these roles. Scripture makes it abundantly clear that wives play a vital role in their marriage and as mothers, if they have children.
However, Butker places way too much importance on these roles and incorrectly disregards the importance of women having a desire to work. Proverbs 31 talks a lot about how important it is for wives to be hard workers, working with willing hands, purchasing food and land, and putting on an appearance of strength.
This goes against Harrison Butker’s assertion, whether intentional or not, that women have to choose between having a job or being a wife and/or mother. The fact is, women can do both and scripture describes godly women as hard workers who do what it takes to support their family. Also, women don’t have to get married and have children, which the Apostle Paul makes clear in 1 Corinthians 7.
Another part of Butker’s speech that raised eyebrows is when he stated that his wife’s life didn’t begin until she became a wife and mother. Perhaps being a wife and mother has given Butker’s wife more purpose or made her life more meaningful to her. That’s definitely possible, but let’s think about what he said for just a second.
Even if we give him the benefit of the doubt and say he didn’t make this claim with ill intent, this idea that his wife’s life didn’t begin until she became a wife and mother is dangerous and simply untrue. Women, like all human beings, are created in God’s image and are loved by the Lord.
This, by itself, gives them purpose. It doesn’t matter if they get married or have children. Making marriage and motherhood the standard for a valuable life for women is extremely dangerous and will lead women of all ages to start questioning and doubting themselves if they don’t get married and have kids or don’t have the desire to.
There’s more we could discuss regarding Harrison Butker’s speech, but let’s stop here. I hope Butker has had time to reflect on what he said and will reconsider his thoughts about women desiring a career and the importance of their roles as wives and mothers. What he said was dangerous, hurtful, and not biblically sound.
For any woman reading this, I hope you understand that it is just fine for you to want a career. Scripture highlights the importance of women being hard workers, especially within a marriage. You can have a career while also being a God-fearing wife and mother who serves your family. You don’t have to pick and choose and you can even decide to not get married at all. That is just fine as well.
Don’t let people make you feel like your value only comes from being a wife who serves her husband or a mother who cares for her children. While it is crucial for us to cherish women who fill these roles, we should also cherish women who have decided to stay single. These women are just as valuable in the eyes of the Lord and he loves them just like he loves everyone else. To overlook this is shameful and will lead to more harm than good.